LOVE IS A MIXTAPE: THE SLOW TO PROCESS EDITION.

IMAGE SOURCE // Myltan

I (Amy) have come to the realization that I may be what one generally refers to as a “slow processor”. It’s a good thing I wasn’t born as a laptop. I’d constantly be flashing up an hourglass cursor as a PC, the dreaded beachball as a MAC, and biding my time with a frustrated IT tech.

It’s not like I’m unintelligent. More like, if an event or life situation is meaningful/intense/lucky etc., I can’t fully process it until later. It’s almost like I experience the whole thing twice. Once in which I go through the motions, reminding myself to be present and take it all in; another in which I delve in and think about what said event actually means in the grand scheme of my life.

Let’s take last week for example, when I was offered a new position at my job. Frankly, it sent me into a bit of a tailspin.

Almost immediately, that internal “you can NOT fail!” voice sounded off, and I soon found myself scrambling to meet a deadline. Now to be honest with you, this job is one I had been vying for, one that would change the whole trajectory of my career. But isn’t it funny how when your wishes come true, your brain plunges into crisis mode (especially at work), visualizing your imminent demise? Like everyone’s going to find out that you’re actually an imposter?

So this weekend, rather than wring my hands and worry, I …. slept. I slept so hard, I put a sloth to shame.

And here’s what I realized: That deadline? It was self-imposed. My overall competence level with this position? It exists. (I think.) I just have to sort the myriad of data my mind ingested for it.

In the spirit of slowing down then and taking the time to process, this mix is more chill, less dancey. Sometimes we need to be more like sloths, snails, tortoises, and this playlist reflects that. But don’t worry, there’s no Michael Bolton.

Slow Jamz by Amy Haley on Grooveshark