Sometimes, life gets cray cray.

At least, mine does.

I am having one of those weeks where I start a million blog posts, and peter out before I get halfway through. Does this ever happen to you?  Blogger God Seth Godin insists there’s no such thing as “writer’s block,” because as his snarky, probably accurate reasoning goes: “People don’t get talker’s block, so why do we get writer’s block?”

Well, touché, Seth.

However. The fact remains that if I soldiered through any of my current post stubs, you would be left thinking, “wha? What da huh?” because as it stands, they each make absolutely no sense.  It’s like a rational adult started them, then a monkey kicked him out of the way and took over the keyboard.

So instead, I’m going to put these random ass post topics into list form.

1. I am going to a happy hour tonight that is literally for cats and dogs. Hosted by this company, a pet food company. While there, I hope to find something that makes Claudia less psycho. Last night, she dragged A MOUSE from outside, into our bedroom. I thought cats were supposed to catch the mice already in your house and, I don’t know, eat them? Apparently my knowledge of the domestic food chain has been formed by Tom and Jerry.

2. Austin Eavesdropper now has AN INTERN.  This is for real. His name is Jeronimo, and he is awesome. Publicists, you know how you write me, and more often than not, I rudely fail to write back?  I am sorry about that. Now, Jeronimo will be fielding your emails! The new email address for stuff you’d like this blog to know about is See ya Hotmail, we’re movin’ on up.

3. Fun Fun Fun Fest is coming up. As is ACL. Are you going? Are you excited?

4. My mom had karaoke at her birthday party last weekend. My husband and I attempted a duet.

This is why I am a terrible duet partner for my musically talented husband.

When I don’t know the karaoke song, I just kind of dance around and think about other things. And Ross pretty much carried this one, y’all.

I guess I don’t know all of the words to “(I Had) The Time of My Life” from Dirty Dancing, which is odd, because what self-respecting child of the 80s girl doesn’t? 

5. What do you do about spammy commenters?  Because they love this blog for some reason. I don’t want to moderate comments – too much responsibility! – but it’s a little bit disconcerting to read on each post, “This blogger is very incredible with many important things shared, would you like business proposition to learn about for purpose of wealth-making?”

Or the more direct, more shameless “Buy Cialis!” duplicated fifty times in this old blog post.

Um. Fellow bloggers. How do you put the brakes on that.

6. Whenever I’m feeling uninspired, I watch this video over and over again. Warning, you might think it is disturbing, but I think it is hilarious. Especially at moment 0:16-0:18, when he calms down again.  But NOT for long.

We’re done here.