Mansion of Terror HAS NOW OPENED

Ok. Remember how we were talking about actor auditions for Mansion of Terror a few weeks ago? Well, the auditions have happened. The psycho zombies are now in place. Fake blood is prepared to squirt, bodily limbs prepared to be sawed off. The Mansion of Terror opened this weekend y’all.

My tickets to this lovely affair are posted on the refrigerator, and I feel a cold shiver every time I walk past them. This is not an exaggeration. I do not do haunted houses. The last scary movie I watched was The Ring (eek!) roughly 5 years ago, and I had to have a friend describe it to me in full detail before actually sitting down to watch it….in the bright shining daytime, that is, with R., with multiple closings of eyes until he assured me it was safe to open.

(PS, if this describes your own experience of The Ring, may I direct you to something funny? I’m not sure if this is supposed to be humorous or not, but somebody put a clip of Samara Morgan on YouTube accompanied by “The Most Beautiful Girl,” Julio Iglesias. Too good, YouTube. Too good!).

Anyway, I have assembled a full-on POSSE to do Mansion of Terror with me. Friends don’t let friends battle killer clowns alone. I am going to be one of the dorks who wears a plastic poncho over her clothes to keep the fake blood off! I’ll try not, however, to be one of those people who kicks the actors in the shins on instinct. I bet that’s happened a lot before.

Reader, do tell me: Are you a fan of haunted houses? Can you provide a relative rookie some tips? My last haunted house experience was in the 3rd grade, and we all know how well that turned out.

EDITOR’S NOTE: It has been kindly pointed out to Austin Eavesdropper that Mansion of Terror and House of Torment are not, in fact, the same thing! This blog post has since been corrected since posting last night, where we mistakenly implied that MOT and HOT were one and the same. (Which further demonstrates AE’s severe lack of knowledge in the haunted house department.) Apologies for any and all confusion.